| Bathroom phobia | Stripe phobia | |
| Cell Phone Phobia | Fear of clowns | Fear of worms |
Fear of stairs
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Gary Craig
This case is relatively straightforward but is filled with facets that merit our attention.
I had an appointment this morning with four members of the firm that mass produces our video tape training sets (this ability to mass produce is what keeps our costs so low). "Bonnie" was a new member of this team and had just seen our 13 minute EFT intro video. She was quite interested in the part with Becci and her fear of mice & rats and took me aside to ask for help with her multi-phobias. These included fears of heights, stairs and freeway driving.
This is an interesting set of phobias because all of them have one thing in common...converging lines. Looking off the top of a building OR down a flight of stairs OR down a long freeway brings into focus converging lines which, for some people, creates a sensation of being drawn toward or sucked down those lines. I asked Bonnie if she had any problem looking out of the window of an airplane. She said no. If looking several miles down from an airplane generates no phobic response then how can we assume one has a "height phobia" when looking off the top of a few hundred foot building. The likely alternative, of course, is a fear response to those converging lines.
I always like to test my work in real circumstances when possible. Since our time was limited (she was on company time) and since there were some stairs nearby, I chose to tap for her "stair fear." As it turns out, she avoids stairs at all costs. She will use elevators even though she has to go way out of her way to do so. The only she time she goes on stairs is when there are many people in front of her and, even then, she resists the experience.
We started in a room where she couldn't see the stairs and I asked her if she had any physical sensations just knowing we were going to work on this fear. She felt an instant tightness in her chest. Two brief rounds of EFT and the tightness in her chest became a pain in her abdomen. This movement of physical symptoms is typical and I call it "chasing the pain" (covered in detail in our Steps toward becoming The Ultimate Therapist tapes). It is symbolic of different aspects of the fear manifesting itself in the body. We tapped another round for the abdomen pain and I then asked her to vividly imagine going down the stairs. She could generate no physical symptoms or emotional upsets whatsoever so we proceeded to the stairs.
She stood at the top of the stairs and said she was amazed that her response was so low. It wasn't gone but it was way below her expectations. Since we were in a public workplace and she was concerned about her co-workers judgments, we went back into the room to do so more EFT'ing. This time I zeroed in on possible alternate emotional contributors to this problem and used my intuition to walk her through the following EFT Setup dialogue (again, this advanced procedure is profusely displayed in Steps toward becoming The Ultimate Therapist).
"Even though I still have some fear of those stairs and still feel like I am being drawn down them, I deeply and completely accept myself. I think I need other people in front of me because I'm not getting the support in life that I need. I feel alone on those stairs and nobody is there to help me. That may not be actually true, but it IS what I think."
We then used the shortcut sequence for "feeling alone, no support." I asked her when we were done if the "feeling alone and no support" comments were on target. With watery eyes, she nodded yes. Our intuition, by the way, is a superb tool to integrate with these procedures. We all have it and it is simply a matter of practice and trust that will allow us to develop it into a tool for mastery.
We went back to the stairs and she proceeded down them. She held onto the railing until I asked her to let go of it. She did and proceeded, somewhat unsure, down the stairs. At the bottom, she looked back with an amazed smile and a grateful thank you. This time I had the watery eyes.
She came back to the top and went down again, still a little unsure. I asked her why she appeared unsure and she reminded me that she rarely went down stairs and wasn't used to it. For her, it was a relatively new experience and took a little getting used to. This is normal and I suggest that all newcomers to these procedures be aware that some phobics will appear unsure, even though the fear is gone. This is because the experience of stairs, water, bugs, enclosed spaces, etc. is relatively new to them and they don't know what to expect.
A few hours later I called Bonnie and she said she had been up and down those stairs two more times without any problems. This is typical. I then asked her to close her eyes and imagine looking down a freeway. I thought our work on the stairs may have generalized over to her other phobias. Alas, she had some stomach discomfort about the freeway thought.
More work to do.
Note: I followed up with Bonnie two months later and the fear of stairs was still nowhere to be found.
Bathroom phobia
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I have a wonderful story to share. Approx. 3 months ago I was helping a trauma survivor who since traumas 30 years ago has been unable to use a public bathroom. This was quite a problem, in that even at work, she'd have to go home to use the bathroom. (as you might imagine, some of her abuse occurred in the bathroom). Even though we had used traditional talk therapy for this, the phobia persisted. SUDS [0-10 intensity] rating 10. I had just finished the first tape of the EFT Course and figured "what the heck!." Imagine her glee after a few rounds and she was able to use the public bathroom where I work.
Now three months later the results are the same and she has been able to free herself from this horrid reminder of the abuse. I am continually in awe of this powerful healing tool, and thankful for Gary and others who have shared it. May we all continue to be a light for others and blessings to you all during this holiday season.
Stripe phobia
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Gary Craig
On my way out of town yesterday morning I stopped by our country post office to mail some packages. I live in a very small community (population about 500--no one knows the exact number). The post office is combined with a souvenir store where they sell candles, sea shells, knick-knacks of various kinds AND shirts with "Sea Ranch" printed on them.
While mailing my packages I noticed Yvonne (an employee) wincing as she was folding some striped Sea Ranch shirts. She said looking at those stripes was as though she was looking at a very bright light that was too intense for her eyes. She had this problem for most of her life (she is about 45). Is this a "stripe phobia?" Who knows?
My time was short since I was going out of town so, without any explanation about what EFT was, I asked her to try this "weird thing" (my words). She consented. She said she would try ANYTHING. As the snickering postal employees looked on I proceeded to tap her and have her say the seemingly strange setup affirmations. Within 3 minutes she went from a 10 to a 3 and then got stuck there (at a 3). I was going to have her emphatically yell the reversal correction so we could proceed to zero but thought better of it due to the social situation that was brewing, namely, a crowd of disbelievers was gathering complete with incredulous looks. Yvonne, even though she was clearly making headway, was becoming uncomfortable. I should have known better, of course, but the little "do-gooder" in me is perpetually willing to put myself out there in the name of progress.
Anyway, I left while she resumed folding the striped shirts. There was no wincing.
Cell Phone Phobia
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When a phobia is delimited (not connected to other issues) it can often be eliminated with one or two rounds of EFT. In such cases we experience our "one minute wonders" wherein a lifelong emotional stressor is gone in moments.
In other cases, however, the phobia serves as a metaphor for many unresolved issues. It appears because the phobic circumstance reminds the client of past angers, fears, etc. Thus it is a symptom, rather than a core problem.
Dr. Carol Look brings to us just such a complicated phobia and displays the detective work necessary to dig up and resolve the underlying issues. In this case the client ("Lisa") associates her cell phone with many negative events in her life. It is not until these negative associations are collapsed with EFT that the phobia fades.
It occurred to me that the phobia in this case would be true for all phones....not just cell phones. So I asked Carol Look about this and, indeed, this is true. However, the negative associations involved for "Lisa" all happened with cell phones, not regular phones. This is a useful distinction.
“Lisa” came in to her session upset because a number of her friends had confronted her about never returning their phone calls. They were disappointed in her and said she wasn’t being a good enough friend. I asked Lisa why she didn’t return calls, and she started telling me about her “emotional” history with cell phones.
Lisa described herself as essentially phobic about her cell phone. She reported having nothing but negative associations with it. “I associate it with death. It always brings bad news.” She reported that whenever it rang, she winced, her heart raced and she had to fight a feeling of dread.
Lisa had been called on her cell phone when her mother was rushed to the hospital last year. She had found six messages on her cell phone when she turned it on after being at work. When she arrived at the hospital, her mother had died. It was totally unexpected and a shock to everyone. (We had already done extensive tapping for her grief, so she wanted to stay focused on her phone issue.) We tapped as follows:
“Even though my cell phone reminds me of death…and of my mother, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I avoid answering my phone because I don’t want any more bad news, I deeply and completely accept my behavior.”
“Even though my friends are mad at me because I don’t return their calls, I’m OK.”
“Even though I feel dread and panic when my phone rings, I choose to feel calm.”
I asked Lisa what other negative reminders were associated with her phone. She told me that when her boyfriend’s parents died in a tragic accident two years ago, he couldn’t reach her because she did NOT have a cell phone. She said it was just another association with phone calls and death.
“Even though I expect to get bad news when my cell phone rings, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
“Even though I’m afraid to answer my cell phone, I completely accept myself anyway.”
Lisa remembered more bad news linked to her phone. Last month the brother of a good friend was killed in a car accident, and she found out “by answering my phone.” She continued searching for other negative links and found another obvious one: 6 months after her mother died, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and she heard the news “by answering my cell phone.” We tapped to clear these connections.
I asked Lisa why else she avoided her phone. Her response provided more tapping opportunities:
“I feel so invaded. People just bother me and they can get to me whenever they want. And I feel the pressure to have answers for them right away when they ask me to join them for a social occasion.” We tapped again:
“Even though I don’t have any privacy anymore, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t feel safe because I have a cell phone, I deeply accept my feelings.”
“Even though the calls feel intrusive, I choose to feel free and safe.”
“Even though I hide by not answering my phone, I accept my feelings and behavior.”
Lisa jumped at the word “free.” She said she didn’t feel free anymore, and never felt free to say “no” to people when they put her “on the spot.”
We tapped a few more rounds on safety and freedom.
“Even though I want them to leave me alone, I choose to feel safe and to love myself.”
“Even though I want to be in control, I choose to feel confident about saying ‘no.’ ”
“Even though I don’t want to be forced to say “no”, I accept my behavior and feelings.”
“Even though I’m afraid they won’t like me, I deeply and completely accept my fears.”
I tested Lisa by calling her cell phone number from my office phone. She said she felt much more comfortable looking at the phone, hearing it ring, and picking it up.
Throughout the session, Lisa was amazed at how powerful her negative associations had been. “It’s just a little dumb phone.” She felt better about her fears, the associations, the expectation of bad news, and felt confident she would be open to answering her phone on a regular basis. She did not feel the need to tap for any grief work, as we had already worked on that successfully since her mother’s death.
Two weeks later, Lisa came back for a session and reported that her cell phone “problem” was “a million per cent better!” She couldn’t believe what the tapping had changed for her. She was answering all her calls, returning messages, and being direct when people asked her questions. She felt proud of herself because she answered a call on her way to my office and was able to tell the person she couldn’t talk because she had an appointment. “No more hiding and lying anymore…and I feel free.” Her final words were, “Can we work on my problem with driving next time??”
Dr. Carol Look
Fear of clowns and mimes
Jo-Anne Eadie gave a group EFT presentation where she met a mid-20's lady with an EXTRAORDINARILY INTENSE phobia of clowns and mimes. Jo-Anne's shares insights, language and the use of humor in this detailed case. The article is very professionally done and the approaches are useful for a wide variety of issues (not just phobias).
I recently demonstrated EFT to a Government Sponsored Group. After one of the breaks, a mid 20's woman asked to clear a very severe phobia to "C". She could not say the word, or write the word and her friend told me that "C" stood for clowns.
She knew when the phobia had started, she was 5 years old and her father had put on a movie called "It" by Stephen King which has a very nasty clown in it. I have never seen the movie but, apparently, in the very first scene the clown kills a little boy. Her father immediately shut off the movie and tried to reassure her but the damage was done. She remembers thinking about it all day and had nightmares that night. No matter how old she got or how much her parents and other people reassured her, she was terrified of clowns. In college, her friends thought it would be funny on Halloween to have someone dress up as a clown. The clown came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and had a panic attack and passed out. (It wasn’t such a funny joke then).
On a scale of 1-10, she was a 100+
We began with "Even though I am terrified of clowns, I deeply love and accept myself" With small reminders of all the different things about clowns that she didn’t like. Her intensity was now at a 9 1/2.
"Even though my father didn’t mean to scare me with the movie"
"Even though my mother tried to reassure me"
"Even though I thought about it all day"
"Even though I had nightmares that wouldn’t go away"
"Even though I think they will kill me" She was down to nine
"Even though other people think that C’s are funny, I know they are going to get me"
"Even though I feel this fear in my solar plexis and my heart"
"Even though I get panic attacks if I am too close to a C"
"Even though people make fun of me and think this is all silly to be scared of C"
"Even though my friends in college played that cruel joke on me"
It was then she said that she was also terrified of Mimes, especially if they worked without make-up. They were even more dangerous because they were trying to fool her to get close. She can’t say the word clowns but she can say mimes. She is down to an eight
"Even though I have to be on guard so the C’s and mimes won’t trick me"
"Even though I didn’t believe my mom and dad when they told me the clowns won’t hurt me"
"Even though I can’t say the word clown"
"Even though I hate clowns, I choose to love clowns" Reminder phrase is "I hate clowns, I love clowns, I hate clowns, I love clowns" Three rounds of the flip back and forth and she is now saying the word clowns on the "I hate clowns" but is silent on the "I love clowns" and lets me say it for her. She is down to a seven
"Even though I don’t want to let this go"
"Even though I don’t want to let this go, because it is my safety and protection against clowns"
"Even though I am an adult now and the little girl doesn’t need the protection anymore"
While tapping this, she sighed at the collarbone and stifled a yawn but then she gripped the chair and started to have a panic attack. Tapping on her made no difference.
I put my hands on her hands and asked her to tell me one thing in the room that she could see, one thing in the room that she could hear, one thing in the room that she could smell, could she feel the chair beneath her? Could she feel her feet in her shoes on the floor? Then went through it again and half way through she was back in her body, calm and ready to continue. We were only coming down slowly by ones but it was the best she had ever felt about clowns and could now say the word easily.
We took a short break and when we returned, she very much wanted to continue. We stayed on "Even though I don’t want to let this go, because it is my safety and protection against clowns"
"Even though I don’t want to give up my safety and protection, I choose to let it go" Small reminder phrase "I don’t want to let this go, I choose to let this go" until I saw a sigh. She was down to a six
I was racking my brain trying to think of something that would ALLOW her to let it go. Laughter is always a wonderful release but I wanted to be careful not to make fun of her as so many others had done.
"Even though I might meet and start dating a man and fall in love with him and marry him and it turns out he is a clown and a mime, I deeply love and accept myself and my clown husband"
She kept tapping but couldn’t say the words because she was laughing so hard and saying that she would dump him in a minute if he was a clown.
Magically, she was a zero. I did the floor to ceiling eye roll just to seal the deal (and also demonstrate it) and it ended when she shouted several times to the class "I LOVE CLOWNS AND MIMES" to their applause for her. I got a huge hug and she said she couldn’t wait to phone her Mom and especially Dad who had always felt so guilty about causing this phobia.
Total time: 35 minutes
This session taught me that just because the numbers are coming down very slowly doesn’t mean that you are not successful, keep working at it. Everything is not a one minute wonder. The second thing that I think was a key here was that we took a quick break. It gave her mind and body time to catch up with what we had been tapping. Time to sink in. Laughter is a good release and it is ok to use humour at times. Keep tapping - I LOVE EFT
Jo-Anne Eadie, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV, C.Ht
Fear of worms points to critical "core issue"
Please study how this case by Dr. Deborah Miller (from Mexico) unfolds. She starts with an aversion to worms and, through expert testing (very important) eventually discovers an important childhood issue. Once this core issue was collapsed with EFT, the fear of worms dissipated completely.
I’ll call her Lola and I started with her fear and aversion to worms. When I asked what she didn’t like about them, she said that it was about the way they moved and texture of the worms. She had an intensity level of 8-9 just thinking about them.
We tapped on her fear of worms, the way they move and how they feel. Her intensity level dropped to 5. She said she felt comfortable talking about worms. I wanted to test this calmness so I asked her how she felt to know that I had “compost worms” in my house (which I do). She was ok with that. I asked her how she felt when I suggested that I would go get some and bring them out for her to look at. That brought her intensity level back up to an 8. We tapped on the worms being present in the house and her fear of bringing the worms closer. The intensity level dropped down to a 4.
I asked again how it felt if I was to go get some worms. This time she was ok with the idea. I got up and walked to the area of my house where I have my compost worms. She was fine. I got a bag and brought out a few worms in some of the compost soil. She was still all right. I then brought them close to her. She could look at them, but not touch them. She didn’t want the bag too close to her because she didn’t want them to touch her or somehow get into her body. I knew this statement was important because it is not logical that if you see or touch a worm that it will get inside of you.
I asked her when she first felt this aversion. You need a little background here. She lives in a country (Mexico) where it was quite common at the time of her childhood that almost everyone got intestinal worms. She, at the age of 6, got worms. She was given a local herbal remedy to get rid of them. She remembers going to the bathroom and seeing the worms wiggling in her feces. At which point she started screaming. Her mother came to take care of her but just stated it was normal. She didn’t get a hug nor was she placated for being afraid of having these worms inside of her. We tapped on her experience as a 6 year old seeing the worms expelled from her body. At this point I added a few lines relating to her being a good child even though she had worms and this brought out a big smile. Her intensity level dropped again but didn’t disappear.
We looked at the worms again and this time she could touch them, but not hold them. I asked her to tell me more about this incident of having worms and to explain more about the “treatment.” She told me the “treatment” was to take a liquid tincture of an herb that has a very strong flavor. In fact it is an herb commonly used to flavor food in southern Mexico. She was forced to take it every 6 months. If she threw it up, she was forced to take another dose and her mother would either hit her with her hand or a strap. (Remember this was about 50 years ago when physical discipline was common.) She remembers being made to sit still just like a doll and not get dirty or she would get hit. Bingo. Now we were getting to the rest of the core issue. We tapped on all of these items.
After this round she voluntarily went for the bag and picked up a compost worm and held it briefly with a calm, peaceful expression on her face.
In this session we started with a fear/anxiety about “worms” that led to a deeper issue related to a particular experience with worms and the “treatment” to not get them again but more importantly how her mother disciplined her and her desire for her mother’s love.
Dr. Deborah Miller